"I pay my tithes after every robbery operation"- Lagos robber

A 24-year old armed robbery suspect, Mr. Tajudeen Onifara has revealed the secret behind his success in the underworld for nine years during which he robbed many people of their money and other possessions. He confessed to the police that he was dutifully paying his tithe to his church, Christ Living Ministry, Lagos Island, as commanded in the Bible after every successful robbery operation in Lagos, western Nigeria.

A couple days ago, some girl on twitter said Christians go to heaven not good people. I don’t care where you stand on religion but that’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard in my life. So you’re telling me this robber has better chance of going to heaven because he pays his tithes and capitalizes the “g” in “God”?

The father of two said he paid his tithe regularly because he believed that as a Christian God always bless a faithful tither. He disclosed that after every successful operation, he would remove 10 percent of the money he stole from people and pay as tithe to church. Onifara attributed his success in crime for nine years to the fact that he paid his tithe regularly as commanded by God in Malachi chapter 3 verse 10 and 11. The verses, he said, mandated Christians to give 10 percent of their earnings as tithe to the church.

I honestly believe Nigerians would rather be religious people than be good people. Being “good” is far too much stress. It’s so much easier to go to church every Sunday than it is not be a dickhead every day.

“You telling me that I have to stop being a tardbucket everyday? EVERYDAY?” – Nigerians, probably.

On what he did with all the money he stole over the years, he explained that he used the money to enrol his children in one of the best schools in Lagos and opened a supermarket at Idumagbo on Lagos Island.

He is a good father so I guess I have to give him that.

[YNaija] 

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