ChamPAYNE what?

A Reality TV Series that documents the life of Toni Payne; a Public Relations Executive, Entertainment Consultant, Online Radio Owner, Socialite, Makeup Brand Owner and Mother.

Who is Toni Payne?

Why does she get a reality show before I do?

I’ve been lobbying for my own reality show for like….forever. My life is super interesting, I am devilishly handsome, and I have the most beautiful brown eyes I’ve ever seen. WHAT MORE DO THEY WANT?

Forget me for a second, isn’t this the first Nigerian reality show? Forget Big Brother, that was a little to real. I mean like “Jersey Shore” real. I had waaaay better ideas.

For The Love of Linda – Self explanatory. Trying to find a husband for serial spinster, Linda Ikeji. I already made a promo poster and everything.

The Island – show chronicling the lives of several rich kids that live on the Island. Must have attended a private secondary school and gone to college in America or England. Nobody cares about Canada.

Noble Headmaster – Follows Noble and his BFF, Ebuka, on their various Lagos exploits. It’ll be like Noble’s blog in real life. We might have to pay some women to find him attractive, however.

Buj – about several aristo girls in Abuja their sugar daddies. A bit like those “Real Housewives of …” shows. I’m surprised no one has came up with this one already/

Real Housewives of Festac – Hahahaha jk jk. Nobody cares about the mainland.

Commenter battles – we get commenters from Aunty Linda’s blog and Ladun’s blog. Make them fight to the  finish.

So yeah,

“ChamPAYNE Life” can eat shit.


5 thoughts on “ChamPAYNE what?

  1. I can't even expalin how hard it was for me to get through this post. I was laughing every two sentences and can't seem to stop. lol! The funny thing is, your suggestions would actually be really interesting. lol

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