Nosa breaks down the Nigerian criminal code Pt. II

Hello there!

It’s been a while since I did this, don’t you think?

216. Any person who unlawfully and indecently deals with a boy under the age of fourteen years is guilty of a felony, and is liable to imprisonment for seven years.

The term “deal with” includes doing any act, which if done without consent, would constitute an assault as hereinafter defined.

I guess this means the age of consent is 14.

Hmmm…where’s Yerima?

218. Any person who has unlawful carnal knowledge of a girl under the age of thirteen years is guilty of a felony, and is liable to imprisonment for life, with or without caning.

Any person who attempts to have unlawful carnal knowledge of a girl under the age of thirteen years -is guilty of a felony, and is liable to imprisonment for fourteen years, with or without caning.

Wait…why did the age of consent drop for girls? I swear Yerima had a say in this. Maybe this has something to do with the fact that girls hit puberty earlier than boys do.

Does this mean puberty = consent in Nigeria?

Which situations demand caning?

#JambQuestions

221. Any person who-

(1) has or attempts to have unlawful carnal knowledge of a girl being of or above thirteen years and under sixteen years of age; or

Aha!

We have nabbed Yerima!

There’s no way he won’t want to make sweet, sweet, sex to his bride. Or he could just be letting her mature until she is ripe. Is that how Hausa* people do it. I guess we could all take a cue from them, eh? I should start hanging out in maternity wards and marry as many cute babies as I can find. One of them has to be hot, right?

(2) knowing a woman or girl to be an idiot or imbecile, has or attempts to have unlawful carnal knowledge of her;

is guilty of a misdemeanor, and is liable to imprisonment for two years, with or without caning.

Does this mean hooking up with drunk women is illegal? FUDGE!!!

How am I supposed to get any action now? Drunk women just so happen to be the demographic I seem to have luck with.

This is bullshit!

Does this mean girls with daddy issues are off limits too? Will I be caned if I have carnal knowledge of a drunk girl with daddy issues? That has to warrant caning, right?

*For my purposes, I have lumped Hausa and Fulani people to form one tribe.

Part I

PS: If you are interested in doing a guest post, shoot us an email stuffnigerianshate[at]gmail[dot]com

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