I probably should have put this up a while ago but seeing as I am lazy and whatnot, well you know what to expect. I just started watching BBC’s “Real Kings of Nigeria” and I figured I’d start this post before I lost all forms of motivation to do it. If I had half of Sugabelly’s ambition and drive, I probably would have cured cancer and AIDS but that is a story for another day.
I thought “Welcome To Lagos” was brilliant. The people were real, contrary to popular belief, and honest. Honestly, see what I did here, it was amazing. However, like most honest opinions about Nigeria, Nigerians disliked it. I don’t blame them. You’ll never see me accept that Ghana has a better soccer team than we do. I’d rather eat my own shit than accept that tripe. I won’t even stand for any Nigerian saying it either. I’m patriotic/jingoistic like that so get like me…HA!
On a serious note, I thought it was rather sad Nigerians chose to ignore the crux of the documentary. We chose to go the pedantic route and take offense to the poverty porn it was. Sure, it was poverty porn but it wasn’t made up poverty porn. Vocal Slender is realer than a $2 bill. The reactions on twitter were stupidly over the top and downright hilarious. I wish I took screencaps that day. Why didn’t I take screencaps that day? I can be so stupid at times. I digress.
Dear Nigerians, let me break this down for you nice and slow. BBC doesn’t owe Nigeria anything. They are trying to put out decent shows and get decent ratings. They really don’t care about the rich side of Lagos. Why should they? Who wants to watch spoilt rich kids doing what spoilt rich kids do? If you want to watch spoilt rich kids, I suggest you pick up a camera and record spoilt rich kids. You could make it like “The Hills” (Lauren Conrad is my homegirl and tings). Call it “The Island” or something like that. Get a couple of kids from Adesoye or Loyola or Olashore. Get them at that age where you think you are the hottest thing since sliced bread, maybe SS1 or SS2. See…that wasn’t hard. I would use this idea but knowing my level of ambition…you know how it goes. Speaking of spoilt rich kids, I heard “Super Sweet Sixteen” was coming to Nigeria. I think all kidnappers and armed robbers collectively jizzed their pants in excitement. I know I would.
Where was I again?
Nigerians have a thing for faux outrage. Of all the offended Nigerians all over the internets, I doubt a single one wrote BBC a letter of complaint. I remember Sugabelly telling me that BBC should be banned from Nigeria. ::blankeststare::
Nigerians need to quit denying the fact that there are poor people in Nigeria. Nigerians need to quit denying the fact that Lagos is a dump. About dumps, that dump Vocal Slender worked in was cotdamn huge. I digress…again.
The only way we can move on as a country is if we accept our flaws. For what we are supposed to be, we have failed.
Making progress, we are doing it wrong. Now I shall go back to watching what I was watching.